((insert Bob Ross intro music)) And now....a moment with Ascension Trip #2

So, there were many, many different scenes that I got on Ascension Trip #2.  One of them was particularly priceless because of what I did.

So let's rewind this a bit....when I did Ascension Trip 2, I did not go with friends because I wanted to see what it would be like doing this more or less without the comfort of my friends.  That and I had scheduling issues.  So when I did Trip 2 I was coupled up with one other lady.  She was about my age and super nice.  I had no clue who she was but as I found out MUCH later (like, 5-7 minutes before the show was over)...

The woman was Darren Lynn Bousman's wife, Laura Bousman.

And I can't look at her straight in the face anymore lol poor girl saw too much.

Anyhow, while Laura and I were in the white room with Simon (British guy who basically screams at you like a DI) she is directing my attention to this box in the middle of the room, situated on top of a table.  She whispered to me to go for the box.  I'm like, "what, Simon is right there".  Not to mention an ass ton of interview ladies that would most assuredly rat me out the second I move.  So Laura is just going on and on about the box.  I insisted that the timing has to be right to get it.  After getting sat on by a dude (per request of Simon) and hence ruining any chance of getting into the box I basically resigned to just forget about it.  BUT we then got in line and I happen to be in the back, really close to the box.

Laura looks behind, giving me the eye like 'go. for. the. BOX.'  And I think I just shook my head.  You see, I figured inside the box is a cell phone.  During trip number 1 my friend Morgan unlocked the box with a code and retrieved the cell phone.  I think he winded up calling a number and the phone number was dead.  So, rather than taking some newbies chance, I told the guy behind me to just go for the box.  He declined.  As we were leaving all the "follow all rules, don't be an ass and ruin the flow of this thing, be a good girl and behave" suddenly left and I went for the god damn box.  Because fuck it, what will be the worst that happens to me?  The thing I worried the most was somehow wrecking the moving parts of this entire theater piece but it was very spur of the moment.  I grabbed the cell phone and thought "man Melissa you are a sneaky, sneaky bastard".

Nope.

As soon as I grabbed the phone a interview lady FREAKED THE FUCK OUT and was like "STOP STOP STOP" and immediately ratted me out to Simon.  So, rather than stuff that phone in my shoe like my original plan, I palmed it.  Because you know, cell phones can totally be palmed. 

HA.
and
HAHA.

I passed my Academy of Magical Arts magician audition with a coin palm routine.
Try palming this. REALLY palming this.
Spoiler alert:  you can't.

Ohh.....Simon was not happy.  But, when he went to tear me an new asshole in front of everyone something strange happened:

SIMON:  WHY DID YOU LOOK IN THE BOX
Me:  ((head down, in submission, genuinely feeling like I was fucked)) I was curious.
SIMON:  THERE IS NOTHING IN THE FUCKING BOX
Me: (lying through my damn teeth)) no, nothing in the box.
...
Me:  sorry.

I thought for sure he would have noticed my palms all clinched up.  But nope.  Or well, the controllers probably told him to just say nothing was in the box/not search me?  Yay?!

And that was it...Simon tears into everyone about falling out of line we're all in super trouble.  Meanwhile people were giving me the "girl what is wrong with you" look.  While I had the chance I unzipped my jumpsuit and took said horribly palmed phone and stuffed it into my bra (HOORAY FOR TIT STORAGE). 

While in the clock room the same lady who ratted me out came in and said something to the effect of "Simon keeps a decoy phone, take this instead".  I was like....huh.  I was having trouble hearing in this room but I think that's what she said.

So we do a quick phone switch-a-roo, non decoy phone goes into my bra. *whistles like nothing happened*

And once I was in the 'sacred room' with Laura my phone goes off.   Vibrating away and ringing in my left tit.   No, I don't answer, I should have...but I was like deer in the headlights. 

oh shit dude.

Meanwhile the priest looks at me like I lost my damn mind, kneels down, screams in my face "WHERE IS THIS DISTRACTION!?"  While the phone was still ringing I dug out the phone and handed it to him.  It flips it open and flashes the number so quickly I couldn't memorize the number.  He threatens punishment, I sit there thinking "I'm so dead" but fortunately Overseer came in and she gave no fucks that I was a bad girl.  On we went with the Overseer.  

Thank Anoch, I didn't want to drink vinegar again (shudder).

So while this little moment that wind up not panning out anything huge discovery for me (probably because I missed my opportunity) or unlocking a secret scene...just getting the phone was SO HARD for me.  I don't like disobeying, I don't like being the rebel.   I just wanna behave (mostly) and not cause any trouble.  So, just being egged on to rebel (tip my hat to Laura who pushed me) MESSED WITH ME SO MUCH.  I do wonder whether that was all by design or whether DLB  was like "WHOA FUCK SHE'S GOING FOR THE BOX" followed by impromptu instructions to the cast on what to do next.  Makes me wonder--can't wait to see what DLB has in store in the future.

So good.